Namita felt much better after having talked to her friend Seema again today. ‘Listened’ was more like it than ‘talked’. Seema usually did most of the talking/ ranting/venting and she had to only make the appropriate listening sounds. Namita had been feeling rather guilty after having kept the phone the other day pleading the excuse of being too unwell. It was not wholly untrue, still…
Seema’s calls had been getting more frequent of late, twice or even thrice a day, and each call ran into hours. Namita felt obliged to listen because Seema was her friend since their college days. Besides, Seema was terribly unhappy and had no one else to share her woes with. Seema always said that it was her calls to Namita that kept her sane. Namita did not feel right about depriving her friend of that solace too.
However it was getting too intrusive and disturbing. The last time, Namita kept the phone rather abruptly and it had been plaguing her. Namita thought that perhaps Seema would’ve guessed that her calls were becoming a bit of a nuisance. All the negative talk was draining her and leaving her with a sense of futility and exasperation. She wondered if Seema would ever call again. Namita needn’t have been concerned. Seema called back again after a respite of two days and continued as if there had been no gap. Namita realised that she was relieved in spite of herself and tried to listen with extra patience and tried to give a few positive suggestions. Seema however was not receptive to suggestions. She was too enmeshed in a quagmire of bitterness and cynicism, all of course the result of her long drawn unfortunate circumstances. Seema used to be such a jovial, happy go lucky person in the good old days. Namita could not believe that it was the same person at the other end of the phone now.
Seema was caught between a self centered, childish husband who refused to take up his responsibilities as a husband and father and an immature, insensitive mother. She had to shoulder the responsibility of bringing up her two children and the running of a firm single handedly. Seema’s husband perceived Seema, and sometimes even their kids as rivals.
Namita felt sorry for her friend knowing there was not much she could do to help. Seema’s husband was in denial and refused to seek professional guidance. He maintained that everything was fine between them. Namita felt that the least she could do for Seema as a friend was to at least listen to her as she went on and on…She could only hope that it helped Seema in some way. Namita also hoped that she would’ve the patience to lend that listening ear…
Seema’s calls had been getting more frequent of late, twice or even thrice a day, and each call ran into hours. Namita felt obliged to listen because Seema was her friend since their college days. Besides, Seema was terribly unhappy and had no one else to share her woes with. Seema always said that it was her calls to Namita that kept her sane. Namita did not feel right about depriving her friend of that solace too.
However it was getting too intrusive and disturbing. The last time, Namita kept the phone rather abruptly and it had been plaguing her. Namita thought that perhaps Seema would’ve guessed that her calls were becoming a bit of a nuisance. All the negative talk was draining her and leaving her with a sense of futility and exasperation. She wondered if Seema would ever call again. Namita needn’t have been concerned. Seema called back again after a respite of two days and continued as if there had been no gap. Namita realised that she was relieved in spite of herself and tried to listen with extra patience and tried to give a few positive suggestions. Seema however was not receptive to suggestions. She was too enmeshed in a quagmire of bitterness and cynicism, all of course the result of her long drawn unfortunate circumstances. Seema used to be such a jovial, happy go lucky person in the good old days. Namita could not believe that it was the same person at the other end of the phone now.
Seema was caught between a self centered, childish husband who refused to take up his responsibilities as a husband and father and an immature, insensitive mother. She had to shoulder the responsibility of bringing up her two children and the running of a firm single handedly. Seema’s husband perceived Seema, and sometimes even their kids as rivals.
Namita felt sorry for her friend knowing there was not much she could do to help. Seema’s husband was in denial and refused to seek professional guidance. He maintained that everything was fine between them. Namita felt that the least she could do for Seema as a friend was to at least listen to her as she went on and on…She could only hope that it helped Seema in some way. Namita also hoped that she would’ve the patience to lend that listening ear…
3 comments:
Ardra,
you have brought out the art of listening aptly in this post.
I too wrote about this art in a post in my blog!all of us need to cultivate this art!
thank you for visiting and leaving your valuable comments!
I am not sure if listening would have been helpful.Sometimes it only encourages people to crib more without finding a solution.
Thanks Nanditha...
Yes, HHG, I tend to agree with you...neither am i sure of what would be the best way to handle such a situation...
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