Wednesday, December 30, 2015

When The Mask becomes the Face-1

Jalaja wiped her tears in a hurry as she heard footsteps approaching- she tried to retain a nonchalant expression which had become her mask for a long time now…that she felt she looked like a wax image- she had learnt not to let her emotions show on her face. But she realized that in an attempt to wear an impervious expression, her features had assumed a kind of stony arrogance. People often misunderstood her to be a defiant person. But she did not care- why should she, they never bothered to delve into her mind- to try to know what she actually felt- they only wanted to pass judgments-

Her trail of thoughts were interrupted as her father came in.

“We’ll leave by tonite’s train to Chennai Jalaja, get done with the shopping by tomorrow evening and be back by the night train.”

Her father seemed to look at it as just a chore, a nuisance to be done over with. She and her father were going to buy clothes for her younger brother’s bride- and as usual her father did not consider it necessary to take her mother with them. He always considered Jalaja’s mother to be an uncouth ,illiterate woman and treated her with scant respect. Her mother did not expect otherwise either. So here she and her father were going to buy clothes for her would-be sister- in –law – Jalaja thought of the young girl with stars in her eyes- dreams in her heart- she wondered what kind of a life she would be leading in this house…

Jalaja nodded in affirmation, and continued packing her bag. Warm, angry tears flowed down her cheeks- Jalaja was not sure what emotions ran through her these days- she was so confused- was it sorrow, remorse, jealousy, anger? She just did not understand anything anymore. She also felt guilty about the flood of emotions that threatened to submerge her entire being- it was slowly eroding away her spirits- and she dreaded facing each day. But there was nothing that she could do, she just had to trudge through each day with determination…there was no escape- she felt like she was caught in a quicksand.

“Why am I feeling so resentful? Is it possible that I could be feeling envious of my own brother?”

They had never been very close though there was only a difference of only two years between them. Her mother had never bothered to conceal her soft corner for the male child- Jalaja’s tryst with indifference began early.

to be contd...

When The Mask becomes the Face-2

When The Mask becomes the Face-3 

When The Mask becomes the Face- 4

When The Mask becomes the Face- Epilogue and Concluding update





3 comments:

buckwaasur said...

ardra...is this creative?? very nice beginning...:-)

SeaSwallowMe said...

all kinds of possibilities .. nice 1st mile, ardra .. keep running :)

bilbo said...

People often misunderstood her to be a defiant person. But she did not care- why should she, they never bothered to delve into her mind- to try to know what she actually felt- they only wanted to pass judgments

so true ardra......

Dont make us wait for the rest.......please :)