Wednesday, January 18, 2006

To a friend who left...

Hi …
Just thought of telling you that
sometimes I miss you..lots…
But let me tell you that
sometimes I don’t…
Sometimes I want to talk to you
Sometimes I just want to listen…
And sometimes I don’t know
what I actually wish-
Sometimes I think I should
wipe out every memory,
every thought of you…
And sometimes I want
to cling to even the tiniest moment
And don’t want to let go ever…
Sometimes I ask why, how..
Sometimes I just don’t care…
Sometimes I think
I’m getting used to your absence
And sometimes I feel its unbearable
Sometimes I think I’ll get over you…
And everything will be fine
I’ll keep moving
And sometimes I’m stuck…
I feel lost

Knowing that the past
will never come back…
Knowing that the future
will bring more painful realities…
Sometimes I can accept
And sometimes it hurts
There are some moments
which flash in my mind’s eye-
Which I hold close to my heart…
which are precious...

I always knew you’d leave
But when you did
I realized I was hoping
You’d stay…

18 comments:

bilbo said...

as some one remarked on another blog , jaane kitne dilon ki baat keh di.
You've expressed here very beautifully the dichotomy we've all felt at some point or other in our lives.
thanks

Akruti said...

I had no words left to say anything after reading it.But i remember Gulzar's words...

haath chhuute bhi to rishte nahiin chhodaa karthe ,vaqt kii shaakh se lamhen nahin toDaa karthe

jis kii aavaaz mein silvat ho nigaahon mein shikan ,aisii tasviir ke tukde nahin jodaa karthe

shahad jiine kaa milaa karthaa hai thodaa thoda ,jaane vaalon ke liye dil nahin thodaa karate

lag ke saahil se jo bahataa hai use bahane do ,aisii dariyaa kaa kabhii rukh nahin modaa karthe
vaqt kii shaakh se lamhein nahin todaa karate

jis kii aavaaz mein silvat ho nigaahon mein shikan ,aisi tasvir ke tukade nahin jodaa karthe

shahad jiine kaa milaa karataa hai thoda thoda
jaane vaalon ke liye dil nahin thodaa karthe

lag ke saahil se jo bahataa hai use bahane do ,aisii dariyaa kaa kabhii rukh nahin modaa karthe.

bharath said...

ardra reminded me of your comment on how love is inside us not outside. then you should be able to keep it forever, right?

Its strange how certain thoughts/memories creep in despite best efforts to deny them.

--aaykqj (from the word verifier)

Ardra said...

makaney...
if one could practise all that one has read, heard then wouldn't I have become "Matha Ardraanandamayi" by now...

and would i be dabbling away in cyberspace counting the comments for ego gratification??? :-)

thanx bilbs and neeluu...

aria said...

Its a kind of thing - I read n thought - why didn't ..I write this :)

yet another1 said...

ditto@bilbo! keep writing!

Chay said...

ditto @ bilbo and bloo...

Is there anyway around those memories and the emotions they evoke??...

good one ardra....

RDP said...

Hi Ardra,

A friend...a long lost but recently found friend forced me to log on to your page to read this one! I must tell u, it did scratch my veneer of indifference and made me go soft inside...u know what? I am going to write to my friend tonite finally.....thanks!

Ardra said...

thank u aria, chay, ano...
RDP!
I was very hesitant to post this one...because it revealed emotions which sometimes one tries to carefully conceal...even after posting, I almost deleted it- then I did not- becos I thought whether i deleted it on this space or not- wouldn't change what I'm and how I feel- and if I chose to delete it because I was hesitant to reveal this part of me to the section of people whom I perceive as "readers" of my blogs- then the point of this space is lost and so I let it remain- and your comment made me feel glad that I did...
take care and all the Best...
p.s: I went to your blog page but saw no posts...:-(
Thank U RDP...

Neets said...

very subtle and expressive ardra. friendship is a very special relationship cos its when we get to choose people's company... its more of a growth process. painful to depart but inevitable... but it is possible to keep in touch.
hey ardra, why have you stopped writing in nrthya?

Shpriya said...

Ardra..that was a good dabble :)

Ardra said...

Neets!
Thank you for your words, but I've not written in nrthya... could you please fwd me a link to this spot?

thank u shpriya...

bharath said...

ardra, why do you look at the comments, you should look to stars and we look to you :P hence our ardra darshanam is complete :)

thanks for ur comment on my MoG review. I think you will like it if you can get your hands on it.

Vivek said...

baat joe nikali dil se,
har dil ko jo choo gayee!

Beautifully expressed!

sigmund fraud said...

I am moved by this writing.

icare said...

Hey Ardra,
All humans are blessed, and ppl as versatile as u r in expressing urself r twice blessed. You should seriously consider taking up writing and i am sure the friend of urs must be missing u just as fervently, or maybe more, as u do.

Ardra said...

I dont know if u'll come here again, and I couldnt track u to your page either, so I'm replying her and hopng you might see it - Thank you so much for your kind words...thank you so much.

abhilash warrier said...

Loved the ending... somehow the poem was making its way towards that.

Wow. Love your writing. Keep it going. May your tribe increase.