Wednesday, December 28, 2005

waiting to get inspired...

its very rare that i get down to write something purely out of inspiration from within.. the words usually flow only as a spill out after reading somebody else's composition- I've no idea as to metre- verse- its just more of a haphazard flow of emotions that have been evoked from reading someone else's thoughts...and hence its possible that my words deviate onto a track of their own different from what the original writer/poet intended- some words, images create a response within me depending on my attitude/perception/ mood of the moment...and then I feel like jotting the resultant thoughts...hope its not illegal! let me know if it is... :-)

I have mentioned the source of inspiration for each of the following:

this one was inspired after reading at Fizo's

That moment from the past
Has come back to haunt me
That moment which gives me no rest
That endless moment
which refuses to burn to ashes

I had deluded myself
That I had forgotten that moment
Today, now, I realize
I was mistaken
That moment
Has yet again seized me
In its grasp
A sigh escapes
From the depths of my soul
I surrender meekly yet again
To the whims of memory…

Fool that I was
To have believed
That I had moved on
All that it took
Was just a whiff from the past
And the steps that I had trudged in toil
I retraced in a trice
And I was back where I started…

this one flowed after reading this:

aayi thi mein phir in galiyon mein
kuchh umeed se, kuchh aasha lekar
lagta tha ki shaayad
mera kuchh yahan phir se mil jaayega
par yahaan to sab kuchh anjaana sa
sab kuchh naya sa
jo tha woh ab na raha...

jis gaon ki khoj mein main yahaan aayi thi
woh dikhayi nahin deti
waqt ki parivartan
meri gaaon ko bhi chhookar jaayegi
yeh shaayad sochi na thi mein..
ab sirf man ke kone mein

kuchh bhooli bisri yaadein
jis ko sametkar
raat ki andhere mein phir se tarashoon
aur dil mein chhipaake rakhoon...
jo tha woh na raha
aur jo hai, woh mera nahi
uski aarzoo bhi nahin...

again from akhil's pages:

sheeshe mein jab khud ko nihaarthi hoon
to apne pratibimb ko dekhkar
aksar yeh bhram mein pad jaati hoon ki
shaayad akeli nahi hoon mein...
phir jab mud ke dekhti hoon to
koi nahin - sirf shunyata
koi mujhe bataa de
ekant mein itna soonapan kyon hai??
tanhaai se dosti karoon
phir bhi seene mein
ek tadap si kyon hai?

yet again from :

aastha bhi nahin
manzil bhi nahin
zindagi ke chaurahe par
khadi hoon duvidha mein
is disha me jaaoon
ya us raah ko chunoon...
Bus khade rahe hum
aur achanak ek

Hawa ka jhonka aaya
aur hum fisalte chale gaye ...

kahan se kahan le gaye hume
ab jahan pahunchu
vahin hai hamari manzil
Mud ke dekhoon to
jaane kis raste par nikale hum
par tab tak to bahut der ho chuki hogi
na manzil chun paya hum
na raste ko
jo aaya so paaya
haath me kuchh na samaaya...

the attempt in english:

Just Arrived

Standing at the crossroads
I kept gazing into the distant horizon
Dilemma, conflicts, Indecision
Tormented my mind and soul
Do I go this way or that other one?
I kept waiting ...

In the twilight hour
Suddenly a gust of wind
Pushed me ahead
And I found myself floating
Like a lost leaf
I tottered, I floundered
I stumbled, I fell..
I picked myself up
I brushed the dust off me
A wound there, a tear here
A weary but redeemed soul

I stood rooted to the spot
Where I now found myself
I cupped my hands
Over my eyes
and looked ahead
And What did I see?

In the orange of dusk
Wilderness stretching to nowhere…
I turned and looked behind me
I saw no tracks nor footprints
There was no path of return
For me to follow....

I had not chosen
the path that I traversed
Nor my destination
And so the place I reached
I declared was my destination
I looked again
The embers were glowing in the Horizon
And I had Arrived!

one more:

jis tarah bujhthi diya ki jwala manmohak hai
shaayad zindagi ki anischita hi
hame lubhaati hai..
aaj hai kal ho na ho
yehi chintha hamein sataati hai...

the latest inspired from here:

I had been leading this crumpled existence
expecting nothing, hoping for nothing
mute acceptance...

you came by...
unfurled me, infused colour
and breathed new life into me
I began to hope...
I began to feel the pride
that comes with the
sense of belonging

Alas! I was but a fool
to believe that I belonged
You stamped a value
and changed hands
I was nothing-
just a medium-
for your expression
the lines, the colors
were not me
and yet I ceased to be yours too...

and now I’m trapped in this ornate frame
The life, the color not mine
And yet I transform the walls that I adorn
Once again mute acceptance
Frozen existence…
But I remember
the touch of your fingers
The ring in your laughter
yet no regrets...
to have been touched by you..
is enough sustenance...


yet another1 said...

whoa ardra! need to spend some quality time on this...but great going!


Shpriya said...

Nice ones , Ardra! We miss out on good pieces in other languages. It is nice to read the translation :)

sigmund fraud said...

I envy your talent in understanding different languages... it's like having so many souls !

Fizo said...

cool ardra!!

parikrama said...

Ardraa Ji..

Now we know whats keeping U away from Shout Box..

I would be honest here & admit that I haven't read them all. So far, I've only read "Moment".. beautifully expressed.. Its funny how our past catches up with us at the most unguarded moments. Therez no escape I guess.

Vivek said...

ur compositions, irrespective of what inspires them, have stamp of your own ability and creativity on them!


aria said...

Very beautiful Ardra. Also gave me a chance to read - some works by others. Nice to see a new post on this page after a long time.

Akhil said...

You have a creatvity of your own. keep writing and always preserve your words.

Heartcrossings said...

Hi Ardra,

Thanks for stopping by and for your wishes for me and J. Nice blog you have here. I wish you and yours every happiness and joy in 2006.